Today is July 24th- a day that marked and changed my family. It was four years ago today that we were at a lake home on vacation with the Wilken family! Four years ago that after a bacon filled breakfast my dad took Lillian and Norah on a bike ride and sang them songs. Four years ago that after cleaning out a garage dad, two of my sisters and my niece decided to swim across the lake. It was four years ago that four of them went across but only three came back.
And like the scripture that my family has found comfort in on that day and the years passed
Exodus 2: 10 ” Later, when the boy was older, his mother brought him back to Pharaoh’s daughter, who adopted him as her own son. The princess named him Moses,a for she explained, “I lifted him out of the water.”
Dad was went from swimming to being lifted out of the water by the arms of Jesus!
Many things happen in four years and has in the life of our family. Between my sister and I we have birthed four beautiful babies. Their whole life time has been marked with the absences of their Grandpa Wilken. I often wonder about what Grandpa would do with all these boys. About how Leeland and dad would have been dangerous buddies- with their love for food and conversation.
This year the grief is different- it feels more normal on this July 24th – instead of dreading the one year anniversary as I first did – this one I had to think ” it this the right day? It was on July 24th right?” I even went back and read old emails from people from the time that dad died. I liked to read what they were saying and the emotional tied to it. I like to remember because that day was important testimony of God’s faithfulness to our family.
Lamentations 3:22-23 “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
Although grief at day one and grief at four years look different , it is still grief. I still miss my dad, I still wish he was here for my kids as their grandpa, I still miss his questions, I still wish that mom had a helpmate to weather th day to day life, I long to see his smile or hear his voice.
Throughout today I will think about dad. I will show the kids some old videos. Part of my family will gather together and eat sweet corn together for supper in memory of dad. We will do our yearly balloon release and we will remember dad! Today will still be partly normal but lived differently because we have all been marked and changed.
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